Category Archives: Advice And Resources

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Divorce and separation are common and some say the statistics are that 1 in 3 marriages will end in divimages-2orce, to 50% of marriages ending in divorce, depending on the study.  How you start a relationship  can tell us a little bit about what the future might look like.  If you have ever had an extra marital relationship, it is likely that those circumstances that drove you to make those choices are likely to occur again, so why is this relationship different?  We like to tell ourselves it’s because this time it is special.  But my best guess is that their out of integrities were never addressed and a bit of history played out in their future.

For parenting and property mediations contact us.  Anna Faoagali, Accredited Mediator, Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner.

Facilitative or Evaluative Mediation?

What’s the difference between a facilitative and a evaluative mediation or an expert appraisal? A facilitative mediator will not tell you what they think. They are independent, impartial and follow a specific process designed to create outcomes. The mediator is in charge of the process and the parties are in charge of the content. The parties design the agenda items, explore those issues and create options to negotiate a resolution. A good mediator will empower the parties to look at their options and powerfully choose a way forward. An evaluative mediator will facilitate a process (as above) however, if the parties cannot reach agreement will provide comments and advice about what they think would be the best way forward, and the parties can choose to follow that advice or otherwise. An expert appraisal will look at all the evidence to date and then make a decision based on that information of what they think the Courts would Order. The risk with evaluative and expert appraisals is that if one or both parties don’t like the advice provided by that expert then they can still pursue a formal decision in the Courts, prolonging and increasing the overall cost of getting a resolution. Usually evaluative and expert appraisals are significantly more expensive than a facilitative mediation. However, if both parties are committed to following the recommendations or advice (despite not agreeing with it) then this can be a very successful, cost effective way to resolve issues without going to Court. Good luck! – By Anna Faoagali Mediator

Property & Parenting Mediations

Can I do a property and parenting mediation at the same time? Generally no. We don’t like to mix up parenting matters with property matters. The two are regulated by different parts of the family law legislation and are measured against different benchmarks. Also, property mediators do not need to be registered or qualified as a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP). Property mediators are not compelled to comply with any specific accreditation requirements. We do recommend that your mediator does have basic accreditation though. If you don’t know, just ask them.

When Should I Consider Participating in a Parenting Mediation?

A parenting mediation is recommended where parents cannot agree on decisions impacting a child’s short and long term future that are important to you, such as; time spent with each parent, where the child lives, what child-care or school the child goes to and their educational well being (i.e homework), what extra-curricular activities the child engages in, third parties engaged with the child (i.e babysitters, extended family, new partners), the financial care of the child, the child’s health and well-being (nutrition, doctor and specialist appointments).

Working out solutions.

We believe in creating an uncontaminated space where you can talk through your issues, create options and make commitments. We are not attached to the content of your problem or the type of issues that you have. We have experienced them all. The problem isn’t important, what is important is that you are given the opportunity and the grace to transform them. After all, you did create the problem – this is your opportunity to be engaged in a process that will give you the best opportunity to find closure with the past and create workable solutions for the future.

Should parents tell kids why they are divorcing?

With more and more marriages ending in divorce, many children involved struggle to fully understand the reasons why their parents are splitting up, especially as often the announcement comes as a complete surprise to the kids. But when your kids seek the reasons behind the divorce how honest should you be?

As mediation specialists here in Brisbane, our FDR practitioners here at Private Mediation, explain how best to navigate the challenging area of breaking the news of a separation or divorce to children, while taking into consideration the best interests of the child and their feelings. Continue reading

From Toddlers to Teenagers: Parenting Plan Examples

Here at Private Mediation part of helping families move forward following a divorce or separation is creating a parenting plan with arrangements to work together positively into the future. For a parenting plan to work well, many things must be taken into account, including guidelines that each parent agrees to and addresses different stages of the child’s development and their changing needs.

Coming up with an effective parenting plan isn’t as easy as sharing expenses and time 50/50 and we share some important factors parents should think about below. Continue reading